Episode 05 - Qualities of a System of Transformation: Part II - The Willing Dismantling

Guess Who's Back!? 

In Episode 05  we are going to discuss why a System Of Transformation willingly dismantles itself in the short term in order to be sustained in the long term. 

• Quality 02 - The Willingness Factor 
• Healing - As painful as your wounding 
• Blockages to Dismantling - Tradition & Disconnection 

Let's heal generational and transform global !!!

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Transcript

Anu: 0:00

Well, well, well guess who's back! Should I continue? Keep going with that song. Okay. I will spare you the solo rapping career that I have given up to pursue podcasting but someday, you might just hear an original composition. Welcome back to the Systems Of Transformation podcast. A podcast that is dedicated to the dynamics of generational healing and global transformation through a trauma informed lens and a Christian perspective. I am your host, Anu Hernandez, and I am back after an unexpected, but well, utilized break. Tonight just in the process of trying to set up for this session I got smacked in the face with my microphone. My headphones wouldn't work. Actually when I plugged in my microphone, it wouldn't turn on. And I thought that was the end of my podcasting career. I tried a bunch of different USB cables. And I was like, well, I guess four episodes, is it. But I said, my prayers. I was about to give up y'all I was about to give up and the green light literally turned on. Maybe there's a lesson in that. Who knows. You know, God works in mysterious ways and through mysterious lights. So I'm paying attention. God, I'm paying attention. We've been through some stuff already. Any who? We are recording tonight. It is a Friday night. And I am at home and spending it with all of you. While I have been incubating, there has been so much internal growth. I had to work through some very deep, personal core beliefs, navigate through a lot of decision-making and my own personal growth and evolution which very interestingly goes with today's episode. Today, we're going to look at the second quality that I think is a characteristic of a true system of transformation. A system of transformation willingly dismantles itself in the short term in order to be sustained in the long term. Usually when I'm talking about transformation, I'm talking about the healthy evolution of a system. There are many types of transformative journeys, but healthy transformation rests on our willingness to partner with that transformative process. There are many times when we anticipate transformation and there are also times when they just come out of the blue and they're unexpected. And so whether they are constructive or destructive, there are some that just naturally occur. And then there are some forms of transformation that are conscious decisions that we make and we choose to embark on. A crucial factor in this whole episode is going to be the'willingness factor', of a system to dismantle itself consciously and yield to that process instead of resisting it. True transformation is not a quick fix to challenges. It is a generational mark of change. So, no matter what type or what nature of transformative catalyst you have. I think the willingness to then partner with that process determines the health and success of that transformative journey. When you are taking apart some of the things that you had going a certain way or who you are and how you've been, that season is going to require an investment of your time, of your energy and also the sacrifice of denial because you are going to start sensing and coming to terms, with some things that were unconscious or that weren't ready to surface yet. When you take something and apply it to yourself and then actually sit down to get to work and see how this is going to then assimilate into your life it takes a lot of energy. Your needs that come up, whether it is a need to rest more. Whether it is a need to reduce the amount of stimulation and socialization that you have going on that season. I'm going to encourage you to do it with love and care for yourself and not be impatient or ashamed of the amount of investment that you seem to require. You are such a worthy investment. Like for me, the last month and a half, I had to sleep longer hours. And I am a person who prides myself of waking up at 3:30 in the morning to go to the gym and workout. I had to willingly dismantle the flow that I had, the routine that I was used to and the intensity that I was moving in, to pay attention to what my season was asking of me. Which was to slow down and to possibly set some things aside at a very unexpected time. And I struggled with that a little bit. Because I thought I had such a good thing going but it almost came to a point where I understood that if i'm going to honor this next surge of internal growth, some of the external things have to be put to rest for a little bit I didn't know what I was setting aside temporarily what I was setting aside permanently and it was confusing for me. My body was tired a lot, I had to invest in those extra hours of rest and modify my workout routine to honor that. As frustrating as it was for me, I knew that that was what needed to be done. When you are going through a season of dismantling, you are definitely going to require time to privately incubate. Like I said, I've been in an incubation season and so you, are going to need time to incubate which really is time alone in solitude. And it's the same for a system as well. An organization or a system might have been working a certain way and when you hit these milestones of transition and growth, and when you start working on the piece of dismantling, you are going to have to slow down maybe stop doing certain things the way they were done and you may not have the same intensity and dynamic movement or output as you have always had in the past season or the season leading up to this moment and that's okay and that's expected. On some days, your healing is going to feel as painful as you're wounding. Anybody that's had any type of a cut or an injury or a broken bone. You know that resetting it and recovering from that injury, no matter how tiny it is, even a paper cut. Sometimes the healing process of that feels as painful or more painful than that original wounding. And a lot of times we don't give ourselves enough time and grace to walk through that healing process. I know it's very difficult. There are days when I have asked myself. Is that even worth it going on a healing journey because it is as painful as the things that have wounded me. A lot of times I see people trying to move through an emotion with the cognition and that doesn't work. Because if you're sad you have to feel that sadness. You can't just say well I'm sad in an attempt to acknowledge that you have that emotion of sadness but it is also a refusal to feel that emotion. Or I am angry and the awareness is wonderful, but are you using that awareness to shut down the emotion and discredit or deny yourself that permission to walk through feeling it. Because you're afraid or you don't know how to handle it or no one's ever shown you how to walk through feeling that. The next part of this episode is going to address some of the things that block us from willingly dismantling ourselves. And a couple of factors that I have thought of already are tradition and disconnection, and we will discuss them a little more in detail right now. Let's look at tradition. A very common notion of tradition is that we have always done things this way. Or when it comes to speaking or thinking about oneself, saying things like,"Well, this is just who I am and this is how it's always been, and this is how I've always been. And so I don't really see one the need to change or two not sure how to even begin this process of change." So a lot of times tradition is chosen over transformation instead of prioritizing transformation over maintaining tradition. The question I will pose tonight is are we willing to look at traditions and practices periodically to examine whether they serve us well. Whether they serve one, the purpose of the system that we're trying to preserve. And two, are these practices genuinely and authentically connecting us with one another and helping us to thrive in this system. Or are they just there in place out of comfort and familiarity? And breeding dysfunction but we just keep them around because that's all we know. This can be a very tricky blockage to address because I am not ever going to advocate for disrespect of the past or our histories, but we need to be able to work towards a future by embracing certain changes in the present. And letting go of things from the past or letting go of things that don't serve as well currently doesn't have to be bad. One of the things I am learning in my life is sometimes you'll let go of good things. It doesn't mean that they are bad things or bad people or bad practices. It just means that maybe their time is up. And if you want to make room for the next thing in your life, you have to take an honest look and take an honest inventory of the practices and the perspectives and the people that we have traditionally just allowed to be around us and impact these systems, and start to filter out the things that don't serve, or create and contribute towards transformation. That is the only way to change, that is the only way to transform. So this doesn't apply to a system that is comfortable In where it is right now. This is really for the people and the systems that want to embrace transformation. If you are happy and content with how things are then do not feel pressured to implement some of these things. But if you are feeling that urge and that intuitive discontentment, then I will ask you to consider some of these things. The next blockage that I want to discuss today is the blockage of disconnection. There are such great disconnection between different components in a system. There's no real conversation, communication and understanding between parts of a system. A lot of systems launch into change movements or transformative practices without having that round table conference with all the pieces that have to change. I have also seen where, because a lot of our styles of organizations are top down, decisions are made blindly at the higher levels without ever connecting with the so-called and I'm saying this in quotes, lower level components of that system. And there is a very chaotic process that emerges because the pieces of that system are not talking to one another or certain pieces don't feel the need to hear from the ones that are actually going to be implementing those changes and derive feedback to then implement into the broader transformative process of the system. And the disadvantage of making changes that way is that when you are not in sync with or in dialogue with the parts of the system that are actually going to be affected by some of these changes, it can lead to a sense of feeling unheard undervalued and like there is a loss of the potential of having an impact, just because you find yourself on this side of that spectrum. Are we willing to have conversations and receive input? From all that are at a table in order to create something that represents the future and evolution of a system? Are we willing to create those spaces to have safe conversations when we are dismantling? It doesn't mean that we have to take everybody's input and try to implement everything that everyone says. But hearing people out, validating their perspective, considering that they are the ones impacted by the changes that are being made is crucial to the buy in for the willing dismantling of a system in the short term in order to sustain it long-term. While the next generation may carry the energy and innovative creative force for transformation, it is the previous generation's responsibility to bless that in the next generation, especially when it doesn't directly benefit them. And this goes back to my belief system that a successful generation is always looking to work themselves out of the business so that the next generation can come in and take over and run it beautifully and thrive as they ought to, and pass on that legacy. To me that is courtesy respect, and honor, which is a huge component of how I relate in any type of relationship or any type of endeavor to bring in transformation. Even in my own life, in certain spheres, I am in those positions. And it is very crucial for me that when I am implementing changes, I am speaking to those that are directly impacted by those changes I haven't done it perfectly. Sometimes I have totally messed things up. I have been reactive and spoken unkindly to people. But I'm trying to return and rectify those moments because human beings are precious. And I want them to understand that if I have hurt them, if I have made them feel like they're less than, or who they are in this world is somehow beneath me, then I will do everything I can to make sure that they know that I made that mistake and that I am taking ownership for my part to contributing to the dysfunction. But ownership is very important to me. Especially when it is coming from the so-called previous generation, elders, leaders, anybody that positions themself in a seat of authority. Because it's easy in theory to sit down and say"Well let's just change A, B and C." But it is somebody else or someone else or something else in that system that is actually going to be practically affected by these decisions And so, Functioning from a place of, You better,listen to what I am saying because I am the authority figure and your feedback is not welcome, your anxieties and your fears of how this change is going to impact your daily life is invalid for some reason." I think that is very cruel and very unkind and inconsiderate of the fact that systems are made of people and these are real lives that we are impacting. And so many organizations unfortunately thrive out of the exploitation of the people that are working for them, who are actually giving their energy and heart and lives and souls to seeing these visions come to life and fruition. And it's very disturbing that we want to create products and programs that serve the larger community but we are unwilling to look at the people directly impacted, the middle men and women. Remember to c onnect in those seasons of dismantling whether it is within yourself whether it is in a family system, an organizational system or a cultural system. Conversation and connection is very very crucial to the success of this quality of transformation. Okay, I think I have passionately presented my perspective on today's quality and this brings us to the end of our time together today. Thank you so much for tuning in, listening and being a part of this community. I appreciate you. I am so thankful that you would take time and energy to spend with me this evening. And I am looking forward to us connecting again in our next episode, where we will look at the next quality of a system of transformation. If you would like to connect with me, you can find me on Instagram at therealanuhernandez. Or on Facebook at Anu Hernandez. Or you could even email me at therealanuhernandez@gmail.com. I also encourage you guys to review and rate this podcast. Your feedback and your thoughts on maybe what we could cover are important to me. And so I would love to incorporate what I am receiving from your end. Until then, heal generational and transform global. Bye.