Happy August :)
Episode 06 will look at why a System Of Transformation prides itself in the deep evaluation of its dysfunctions instead of superficial symptom management.
Let's heal generational and transform global !!!
Connect with me:
Leave a rating or review. Share the podcast with someone you know.
My book, But Jesus is available online at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and WestBow Press.
Happy August :)
Episode 06 will look at why a System Of Transformation prides itself in the deep evaluation of its dysfunctions instead of superficial symptom management.
Let's heal generational and transform global !!!
Connect with me:
Leave a rating or review. Share the podcast with someone you know.
My book, But Jesus is available online at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and WestBow Press.
Welcome to the Systems Of Transformation podcast, a podcast that is dedicated to the dynamics of generational healing and global transformation through a trauma informed lens and a spiritual perspective. I am your host a Anu Hernandez and welcome to Episode 06: The Great Anatomy. We are going through a series called the qualities of a system of transformation, and tonight we are going to look at the third quality. A system of transformation prides itself in the deep evaluation of its dysfunctions instead of superficial symptom management. I will say that once again. A system of transformation prides itself in the deep evaluation of its dysfunctions instead of superficial symptom management. For a system to really engage in transformative work it has to be able to deeply evaluate itself and look at its strengths and its areas of challenge. I want to emphasize something that it prides itself on the ability to be able to do this type of a deep evaluation of its dysfunctions. The element of pride and joy of being able to do this proactively, to healthily look at oneself and say'you know I do all these things wonderfully and I don't do some of these things that great'. Symptoms are just the tangible, superficial things that may manifest, but they don't necessarily treat or cure what's going on underneath the surface. Anytime we're talking about dynamics when we're talking about transformation, it's very important to understand that a lot of our work is going to be beneath the soil. The first thing that came to my mind was an image of a potted plant. I do not have much of a green thumb. I have successfully managed to keep two plants alive for almost, I would say an average of three years. Maybe you could call that as somewhat green thumb? When I think of superficial symptom management, I think of just looking at the leaves and saying, well, the leaves are turning yellow. So I'm just going to pluck these leaves and throw them away. Instead of saying, there might be something going on underneath the soil. Why don't we look at the roots? A system of transformation is one that is able to say. Hey, our plant is not thriving. I am not seeing healthy fruit. I'm not seeing thriving flowers and my leaves are turning yellow. Instead of just picking the dead leaves or picking out the fruit, let's investigate this potted plant because maybe there's something going on beneath the soil that needs to be looked at in order to correct what we are observing superficially, which is the dead leaves and the dying fruit. Let me take a look at that willingly, humbly and not demonize the fact that there's something that could be wrong beneath the surface. Any time I talk about different systems on this podcast, I am talking about individual systems and collective systems because they're two different types of systems. When I talk about an individual system, I am talking about an individual because I am such a firm believer that all it takes is one person to make a difference. I believe all transformation in a system begins with the individuals in it and every individual taking ownership of their part. And really embodying what that transformative process is on an individual level before trying to implement a larger, more systemic and collective change. When I talk about collective systems. I will refer to families, religious institutions or faith systems, organizational systems like businesses and then also society and cultural aspects of being a collective group. We love throwing around the quote"oh I am imperfect and I'm just human" and all kinds of variants of that. A lot of times we use those statements as excuses to live in that state of compromise but we struggle to apply that in a healthy transformative way. To recognize that we can actually take those same perspectives and use them transformatively is crucial to any system leaving a lasting impact in this world. For a system to be able to take a good look at its own dysfunctions instead of being defensive and projecting on other people or other elements of that system, there has to be a few things that the system is able to do. The first thing that a system needs to be able to do is have a provision of self evaluation. There is a statement that I love and it goes something like this, between the mission and transformation lies the provision of self evaluation'. Systems whether individual or collective are birthed from wonderful visions. On the other end lies the mission and this is the tangible actionable steps of how do i take this vision that i have in my heart or my soul and then how does this unfold into the greater world that i would like to transform. Sandwiched between these two is the provision. Whether it is a personal or a professional system we are captivated by visions and missions and we forget the in-between portion or we neglect that portion. This goes back to the whole perspective that I have of love God, love yourself, so that you can love others more effectively and more like God, cause a lot of times all we're trying to do is love God and love others without loving ourselves, and that never works good for anybody. It is so important for me to be able to say, yes I am engaged in transformative work, but I also understand that this is flowing through me. Whether it is me as a woman, as a human, as a leader, as a family member, it's flowing through me. I need to be able to take a look at some of my own issues at times, spend some time addressing that and also recognize that it can be done proactively and positively because ultimately it benefits those that end up receiving whatever flows out of me. If a system wants impact and transformation, then their mission cannot be one of self preservation. We get so captivated by the visions that helped us create something, all we're doing after that is to try to preserve that original vision, And there's nothing wrong with that but sometimes things get so crystallized that over time it loses its impact and its ability to actually transform because the world is changing every day. Good intentions do not make up for being ill-equipped and so if there are things that we can learn along the way to equip us better, those are definitely to be considered and the negative energy of self preservation or denial doesn't really help any type of system thrive. Owning your dysfunctions doesn't make you weak and avoidance of those issues only leads to more defensiveness when any type of issue is brought up, or a concern is raised or somebody in that system has a difference of opinion. Then you get the defensive responses, then you get the reactions that are more suppressive and oppressive in nature The stubborn loyalty to origins is something that can really impact how a system evolves and maintains its transformative potency. I would like to look at some collective systems and I would like to start with the family system because I believe that the family system is the DNA strand of this world. And that if every family were to begin engaging in their own transformative work, we would see a greater transformation in the world at a much faster pace, than if we were just to think of transformative practices being outside the home and never reaching within the four walls that we live and move and breathe within. Children are the thermometers of the family system. Children will tell you what exactly the level of health or dysfunction or toxicity is within a certain family unit. Their behaviors, their ways of being able to, or not being able to cope with things well speak loudest about the overall health of a family system. Now, this is taking into account that a lot of times children's misbehaviors and maybe their so-called acting out is them not being really able to handle the dysregulation that they're experiencing internally. Because I am a social worker, I see this every day. Most of my work and most of the work that my staff do are in family systems and we know that the bulk of our work is actually with the adults in the home. The way families come to us is with what I have termed the fix my child syndrome, where just because the child is exhibiting the symptoms of what's going on in the family, they are being blamed and shamed to take on the burden of fixing themselves. I've seen family systems come to us. With this. I mean, some of them see it, some of them imply it, but with this message of fix my child and everything will be okay. Fix my child and our family will be okay. They are the problem we were doing just fine and we have no idea what's going on with this kid. It's so easy for this family system to point fingers at this expressive child. And that's the defensive mechanisms that I'm talking about or the denial or sometimes it is a lot of shame and the families are just not wanting to accept that this is a greater issue and they genuinely hope that if the child's behavioral issues are dealt with then maybe just, maybe they don't have to look at the greater forces at work. I see this on a daily basis. And people are desperate for help, but they are entrenched in the ways of doing things because they've only utilized survival mechanisms to get to where they are because they themselves have had to cope with a lot of trauma and they carry a lot of, and dealt with pain and grief and their own baggage. It's easy to see that what we're dealing with is a 35 year old mom whose emotional skill level is that around an age 15 ish And she is battling it out with her 15 year old and so there are two peers But because she has the title of mom and caretaker. It's very confusing for the child Because the dynamic is two teenagers going at one another But Tangibly it's the child being disrespectful and defiant towards parents. This is why I love social work is because now we have this perspective of, okay, this is what they're saying, but a lot of times it is not a fix my child issue. It is let's work with the family system. Because once adults learn how to regulate themselves in moments of dysregulation. They are then able to model. Those skills to their children. And overall. The family system improves. I will tell you this with certainty. One of the first things you will hear from adults in a family system is"I didn't get any of this growing up and I turned out just fine. Well, what's their problem? Nobody did this for me. I went through much worse". Very very often it's quick as a social worker to recognize that, wow, these adults themselves are neglected, abused, and traumatized children who never received the care they were supposed to receive growing up. And somehow they have made it so far. But now when their child is exhibiting this collective generational trauma through their inability to cope with not just their own challenges in this world, but everything that has trickled down from these generations. Now this child has to carry all of that and is not able to. And so a lot of times their mental, emotional, and physical systems as individuals are collapsing. It would really help for families to begin recognizing and this is not to shame families this is not to blame but this is just to understand cause and effect. The first thing that we provide for these families is a safe space for them to recognize that"hey this might be a bigger issue than just your child acting out and so instead of putting all the work on them to fix themselves. Maybe everybody needs to sit down together and take a look at the deeper root systems that are influencing what we're seeing through this child". I have actually been able to start saying that to families, even when I first meet them. And even when I talked to that child who is on probation or who is under investigation, You know what I'm able to tell that child,"look, I'm not here. This is not a fix you project. Right. This is let's evaluate everyone together and let's work together to make things better". When we're talking about other collective systems This can translate into and i've actually written a list down fix the next generation The next generation is the problem fixed my employee My workers are ungrateful they complain They're just not able to see all the sacrifices we make for them as leaders And so we'll just get fixed them and my organization will be okay. Fix my congregation fix my student body Fix my product my policy my program just fix it Because that is the thing that is exhibiting all these problems right now and so if we take care of that we will be okay. The second thing that a system of transformation should be able to do is to provide regular spaces of collaborative non-defensive engagement. It's important to create those spaces with the energy of non defensiveness. It's important that we're not creating these spaces and these opportunities out of a sense of having to do them but really recognizing the value of having that time with the different stakeholders involved in our system. Let me speak about this from the perspective of a professional setting or an organizational setup. In an organization, whatever form it takes, we have different components working together. We have members who are in leadership positions who take care of the management aspect of that set up. We have administration. Employees. It is important that everybody in that system knows that they have a place and a space to share without fear of retaliation, without fear of being labeled as a complainer or an ungrateful human being, that they can bring up issues that they may see from their perspective, because they're the ones that are actually engaged in the work. And it is their daily involvement and engagement that exposes them to the wisdom of nuances. It is important that we provide these opportunities, not just because we need to fulfill compliance requirements, maintain protocols or make sure that we are not going to get into trouble. It's important that we can model to those that we lead or to those that we work with that we have understood one, the importance of collaborative engagement. And two, we recognize that it is a healthy, positive practice that we implement not from a place of dread but from a place of understanding it's role in the transformative capacities of our organizations. I recognize that it is difficult to take into consideration and implement everybody's perspectives. But I also know that workers are aware and understanding of the fact that not everything that they want, they may get. And listening does not mean implementation. Listening means you are genuinely concerned and considerate of how they are experiencing the current layout and functioning of a system. There is no harm in presenting a realistic perspective that not everybody's input can be implemented immediately. And I think people are okay with that. But choosing to never give them that opportunity just because you know that not everything can be implemented is robbing them of the rich experience of being an active participating member of your organization People are satisfied with that because they would rather be heard and validated and continue to work in conditions that may not fully be transformed overnight, than walk away feeling like they were just part of fulfilling a procedure, or maintaining a policy or just offered this empty void of an experience so that we can quote unquote, say that oh, look, we provided them this opportunity and so we're good. It is very quick to pick up what is genuine, what is positive and proactive, versus a defensive stance. I recently completed a certification course for trauma informed leadership. And the premise of the whole course was to educate leaders to carry that trauma informed perspective of their workers and their staff bodies, but also themselves. To recognize how our own traumas, our own personal historical traumas play into how we function as authority figures in our professional setups. During the course of that certification program. I listened to a podcast episode I believe where a transformative leader was talking about how when you have ongoing discussions and you were engaged proactively and in a healthy way with your organization, the value of having that type of consistent connection, is that a lot of creative solutions to the challenges the organization is facing can be found in the room. And she put it so beautifully. She said the answer is always in the room. I am a firm supporter of that perspective. If we're not asking the people who are actually doing the work to tell us the things that they are learning, the creative ideas that they may have to address some of the concerns we are seeing. And if we cannot at least implement a percentage of what those people have offered us, then I think we are doing a great disservice by asking people to just do the work, but never have any type of say in the outcome of the work that we are asking them to do. When there is an absence of collaborative non-defensive engagement between the different components of a system, you are missing out on tremendous material to engage in transformative work. And over time the disconnection will continue to grow larger and you will see the symptoms of your organization and your people not doing well, not thriving and you have a choice in that moment to choose whether you are going to take these symptoms as signposts that you should probably do some investigation and bring people together and have that conversation. Or choose not to address what you are observing out of the fear that a lot of negativity will come to the surface. Personally, I don't see the value in denying the opportunity for something to be shared, whether it is positive or negative. If we're not providing those spaces where frustrations can be discharged then we cannot be surprised when we begin to see dysfunctional byproducts set in to the culture of our organizations. I know that a lot of people are afraid that negativity will breed more contempt. And that's where I think we can teach people healthy ways of expressing frustration sadness, anger. But it has to be done if we are wanting to keep our systems healthy and if we want to continue working towards transforming into healthier organizations. Just like it is Very quick to understand that sometimes the most work that is needed is with the adults of a family system i could also tell you that the hardest people to influence And soften to help them begin that transformative work are the leaders of that system The authority figures The people that have all the power, have the position, have the titles. These adults, these authority figures, they themselves are functioning from places of deficits, from their own baggage and none of that means that they cannot hold those positions, it just means that when they have not been provided the nourishment and the nurturing they come at the next generation or the next, the level of people that they're called to influence and lead or maybe mentor or parent. They come at them with a level of harshness because again survival Can make you harsh and make you hard and make you have to Be tough And so a lot of times then the next generation or the next layer of that system doesn't really have a transformative chance because then they're just dealing with your reactions and your defenses. This is why i'm pleading with people and i'm hoping to educate people that For those of us that are in those Authoritative positions It would really really benefit the transformation of our systems if we were able to take In non-defensive and positive approach to really looking at our own dysfunctions before setting out to point fingers elsewhere. That's the reason why i called today's episode the great anatomy it's because Taking that time to surgically see what we can Heal. What we can Possibly clean up and and take care of And even remove if needed Is very very crucial to the thriving success of a system In a way this is beautiful because this is where intergenerational work Is the magic to the problems that we're seeing because of both sides of that system can say we both have worked to do I'm sorry if i have been making this all about you and acting like if you get yourself together i will be okay And at the same time if the other side can say i recognize that yes you'd may not do things perfectly but because we're looking at this together I feel comfortable to openly examine myself because i'm watching you do it. How beautiful is that. How transformative is that How much of an impact can we leave in not just our families but in places of our work in society and culture In places that we worship. I think people that are willing to collectively engage in this could really begin to see a shift not just in their mission and the results they're able to produce from their beautiful visions but also just the health and the Connectedness between themselves as a system and the people that are working so hard to make some of these visions come to life and translate into missions. There in lies the significant power of utilizing generational mechanisms to transform our world and that is why i always end my episodes by saying heal generational and transform global because the work that we do intergenerationally Has such a great potency to transform this world in ways that we are beginning to see this actually take place in the world And my heart is to disperse this information to the masses because i do believe that transformation is for the masses It's not for a select exclusive group of people This is a time when we are called to transform global. We know that our world needs global transformation and global transformation for the better. So on that note i would like to end today's episode. Once again i thank you so much and i invite you to connect with me. If you would like to do so you can find me on Instagram at@therealanuhernandez or on Facebook at Anu hernandez. Or you could even email me at therealanuhernandez@gmail.com Continue to send me your feedback your thoughts your comments. Rate and review the podcast.It's so encouraging to see the number of downloads grow as i put out this content and every one of those downloads matter to me. My definition of success is being able to transform the one, so i live a pretty successful transformative life on a daily basis because my yard stick of success is being able to transform one person. It's encouraging for me too, to know that there are other people that are actually interested and invested in this form of thought and want to go out and make that difference because I know you're not downloading this just because you want to listen to something. You obviously have a heart that is stirred and a spirit that wants to go out and make a difference. So i am very thankful to you. i really appreciate each and every one of you And until next time heal generational and transform global. Bye everyone!!!!